Being election year, where we hold everyone and everything up to the microscope, I want to take Bob Garfield up on some generalities he sprinkles in his Ad Review column in Advertising Age, and some absolutely offensive things he gets away with that are not even related to what he is reviewing. (See more on this here.

Bob’s stance on what’s creative, what’s good positioning, and what makes marketing sense, is as flip-floppy as John Kerry’s stance on the military, or Bush’s on the U.N. He seems to say whatever suits the moment, appropriate or bizarre. (In one column he admits how wrong he was ( “historians take note: WE WERE WRONG.”) In another why he is so right.) He appears to be writing for MAD magazine, taking a stab at anything for the sheer entertainment value.

Like the Bush tactic, Garfield’s campaign staff conveniently divides the world into the evil doers –those low life Creative types—and those who were sent to clean up the world. Those who ‘worship’ his opinions, as he puts it. Take this uncalled for opening statement in the May 24th issue of Advertising Age:

“Why should you not merely read this column religiously, but actually worship it? Because, unlike the goofs and goofettes in the Creative department… the Ad Review staff actually appreciates and understands advertising.”

When Garfield says such things as “it’s more or less axiomatic that market leaders never acknowledge the competition” you know he’s trying to slip one past us. It’s his way of saying “disregard anything you have read or heard about the Cola wars, the analgesic comparison ads, Microsoft Vs Linux, the present spat between the King of beers and the President, or the anti-Bush vs anti Kerry ads. Never acknowledge the competition??? Axiomatic? Did Garfield’s scribes suddenly open a dictionary and stumble upon the word? Did they think, ‘cool, the ‘goofs and goofettes’ in ad land would not understand what it means, so let’s put it in our column?’ Garfield then proceeds to talk of another ‘axiom’ in political campaign ads: “Any charge not answered in 24 hours becomes a fact.” Popular misconception, yes. Axiom? No, sir. Any charge made in the mainstream media feeds the echo chamber, for sure, but that doesn’t make it factual. Garfield fails to appreciate the changing role of advertising, so uses these fake ‘axioms’ to buttress his passion of lashing out at anything in his path.

In the end, I’m surprised and disappointed that the non ‘goofs and goofettes’ among Creatives haven’t risen up and voted Mr. Garfield off the island. No, Bob, they don’t “loathe themselves for not being movie directors or novelists of whatever,” a charge that I am refuting, lest you treat it as axiomatic. Believe me, I do not work for an ad agency (I used to) but I think you owe the vast majority of Creatives, and Ad Age readers an apology. Thank you.